Happy Monday y’all! I hope you had a wonderful New Year’s Day! Today I’m so excited to share with you part two of my New Year, New You Guide which focuses completely on YOU! As women we tend to do it all! We take care of everything and everyone and then have little to no time to focus on our wants and needs. This 21 Day Guide is a way for you to take a few minutes each day to yourself and write out your thoughts in a journal! Having done this myself for years it helps tremendously in encouraging you to identify and release any negative energy holding you back, reminds you to love yourself and why you are so special and unique to this world, how to get out of your own way and start pursuing your dreams successfully, discover your purpose, and discover more about yourself and who you truly are at your core!
I truly believe that the key to achieving all of your dreams comes down to two major concepts: genuinely knowing who you are and facing your fears. Over the past few years I’ve learned that as humans we carry so much fear deep within ourselves that unquestionably hold us back from accomplishing everything we desire! Some of us (the majority of us) even subconsciously believe that we don’t deserve happiness so we end up making choices that don’t support our life purpose. It’s completely normal and natural but that kind of mindset needs to stop today! The truth is you deserve all the happiness in the world! The truth is you are here on this earth for a reason! The truth is you are beyond capable of achieving all your dreams whether it’s starting your own business, creating a family, buying your first home, or working for and achieving that healthy lifestyle you always wanted! Whatever you want out of this life can be yours! Now all you have to do is believe it, get out there and work for it, and be open to receiving it!
Below are twenty-one days worth of journal activities to help you rediscover your purpose, who you are, and how you can achieve everything your heart desires! After you complete each daily journal exercise take a few minutes to review your answers and assess how you can add more of the good to your life and remove the not so positive from your life! You can do the exercises all in one sitting but I HIGHLY recommend only doing one per day! After you complete each exercise you’ll start to notice that you’ll have daily epiphany’s about each topic and how it has affected your life. It’s best to really let every topic sink in daily rather than overwhelming your brain with too much! Make sure to also follow along on Instagram for daily motivation and where I’ll also be sharing my journal answers daily with you to help keep you inspired! Make sure to also scroll all the way to the bottom of this post for some daily mantras for those days when you just need a little more motivation!
DAY 1: START EACH DAY WITH A GRATEFUL HEART
Happiness begins with gratitude! That’s just a fact! A fact that took me a little too long to recognize. As human beings it’s natural for us to think that we’ll be happy once we land that promotion, once we get married, once we move into a house, once we finally have children, once we make a million dollars, etc. The truth is if you aren’t happy before you have those things you aren’t going to be happy once you achieve those goals! Happiness is a choice! Even on the hardest days we must choose to find the joy in the small things. Happiness truly begins with gratitude so today’s exercise is to figure out what we are grateful for! In your journal answer the following:
- List 20 things you are grateful for (doesn’t matter how big or small)
- Choose 3 of those things on your list and write a few sentences on WHY you are grateful for them
- As you go throughout your day make a conscious effort to practice gratitude and find joy in the small things! Try and practice gratitude every single day!
- From here on out every morning write three things in your journal that you are grateful for before you begin your day! Bonus: Try documenting in a photo one thing you are grateful for each day. By the end of the year you’ll be able to look back and remember all the little things that made you smile this year!
It may take weeks or even months but I promise if you practice gratitude every single day it will be life changing! You will start to attract so many positive things into your life faster than you could ever have imagined! 💛
DAY 2: FORGIVENESS
Today’s exercise is a tough one! Today I want you to forgive every single person who has ever done you wrong. When you truly forgive someone for something they have done to you several things happen: you release the grudge, which therefore releases tons of pent up negative energy, which in turn allows more positive energy and positive things into your life! It’s a tough one but it’s necessary! Here is today’s exercise:
- Write a list of 10-20 things that you are forgiving someone for. It can be as small as the kid on the playground stealing your turn on the swings in kindergarten to as big as your ex-husband cheating on you!
- Find three of the most painful experiences from your list
- Feel the painful emotions, accept that they happened to you, think of a few examples of how they made you stronger or something positive that came from that experience, and then release them into the world! Really allow yourself to visualize them being released out into the world, no longer your problem!
DAY 3: SELF LOVE
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my time on this planet is the importance of self love! People will only learn to love you as much as you love yourself! That’s something that I wish I would have learned decades ago but hey that’s ok, you live and learn right? Self love is CRUCIAL in achieving all your dreams and desires. You may have the strongest support system in the world but if you don’t believe in yourself or believe that you are worthy of happiness nothing or no one can help you! I truly believe that each and every one of us were put on this earth for a reason. Big or small we all have something to offer this world and that is what makes you uniquely you! Here is today’s exercise:
- Write down 20 things you LOVE about yourself! Don’t hold back or be modest. Talk to yourself like you would your best girlfriend!
- Once finished read your list over and over again until you truly believe that these are all the things that make you special and unique!
DAY 4: SELF LOVE PT 2
Self love is so important that I thought it deserved two days of journaling! Self love isn’t just about liking things about yourself, it’s proving it to yourself through your actions and how you allow others to treat you! Are you a people pleaser that can never say no? Do you allow people to take advantage of your kindness? Are you allowing your partner to only take take take while you continue to give give give? Today’s exercise is to identify how you can love yourself more and what boundaries you can create to show yourself more self love:
- How can I show myself more self love? This can include both setting boundaries and taking time to yourself to rejuvenate!
- Are there any areas or relationships in my life where I am not practicing self love?
- What steps can I take to improve these situations?
DAY 5: WHO AM I?
“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” One of the greatest gifts in life is to truly know who you are! What do you like? What do you dislike? What is important to you? What makes you truly happy? If you’ve ever heard someone say to another person “tell me a little about yourself” you’ve probably noticed that the majority of people have a hard time answering the question. If there is anything in this world that we should be sure of it’s who we are! If you don’t know, no judgement at all! In fact all of us are constantly learning through our experiences who we are! Hey, that’s why we are here on this beautiful planet, to learn and grow! Today’s exercise is to answer this one and only question: who are you?
- Who am I? Start with the superficial and surface layer answers to get you started. For instance, where you grew up, your job or major in school, how many siblings you have, etc.
- Who am I? Dig deeper and think about who you are at your core. What makes me truly happy? What are my most important needs and desires? What matters the most to me in life? If there were no roadblocks to worry about how would I be living my life? What are my passions? These are just some examples to get you started but feel free to answer this question in a way that feels right to you!
In my opinion it’s important to know who you truly are so that you can assess if you are genuinely living a life to please yourself or living your life for others!
DAY 6: VALUES
Part of truly knowing who you are is knowing your core values! Core values can include any belief that helps you decide between right and wrong and helps you dictate how you choose to live you life. Examples of core values can range from admirable traits such as honesty, positivity, and loyalty to more specific traits such as religious beliefs and the importance of family. Today’s exercise is figuring out your core values:
- What are my core values?
- What are my top three most important values?
- Am I living in a way that is aligned with my core values? If not, what can I do to make sure my life becomes aligned with my values?
DAY 7: PERSONALITY
The last few days have been super serious so I thought I’d mix it up and make it a little fun today! So today is all about personality!! Personality is such a fun way to learn more about yourself. So for today’s exercise answer the following:
- What is my personality type? There is no wrong answer here, in fact have fun with it! Are you serious or outgoing? Life of the party or hate crowds? Etc.
- Which three words best describe me and my personality?
- How would my friends describe me?
- What is my favorite part about my personality? My least favorite part? If I could change one thing about my personality what would it be?
- What is my love language? If you have never heard of love languages I would highly recommend this book about the topic! Love languages explain how you both give love and and need to receive love in order to feel appreciated, respected, and fulfilled!
DAY 8: GOALS
I’m sure you all made goals or resolutions for the new year which is amazing! I love setting new goals especially at the beginning of each year! Something that is just as important as setting goals is setting a plan to achieve those goals! If we don’t set a plan to achieve our goals another year will sneak on by us with little to no progress in reaching those dreams! It’s important to make small weekly or monthly goals that will help you make progress to achieving those goals by the end of the year. So today’s exercise is all about accomplishing our goals for 2021:
- Write a list of 10-20 things you want to accomplish this year.
- Pick three goals that are the most important/that you want to accomplish the most
- Now focus on achieving those three goals for this year! How do I plan on achieving those goals? What small goals can I set for myself monthly that will help work towards achieving those goals by the end of the year?
Note: Studies show that if we focus on too many goals that we are less likely to be successful! Stick to around three goals for the year for optimum progress and success!
DAY 9: LIFE PURPOSE
What is your life purpose? It’s not always an easy question to answer. Is your life purpose to spread kindness daily, is it to become rich and donate all your money to charity, is it to become a teacher and change children’s lives from the classroom, or simply just live a life of happiness? Figuring out your life purpose will help pinpoint your exact goals and how you plan to achieve them. Here are a few questions to help you figure out your life purpose:
- What was I passionate about as a child?
- What issues do I hold close to my heart?
- If I were born a billionaire how would I choose to spend my free time?
- How would I choose to save the world?
- If I had only one year left to live what would I choose to do with my time?
- How can I make my life more meaningful starting today?
- How would I define my life purpose in one sentence?
DAY 10: THE F WORD-FEAR
Let’s talk about the F word- fear!! I truly believe that fear is the number one reason that we are not living the life we have always dreamed of! What’s the number one reason for never chasing your dreams? Fear of failure! Never allowed yourself to get too close or too committed to someone in a relationship? Fear of getting your heart broken! Didn’t apply for that job that you would have been perfect for? Fear of being rejected! Fear is the number one thing holding us back! Today that all changes! Today we are looking fear straight in the face and using the other F word to tell him to f-off! 🤣 Today’s journal exercise is to pinpoint what scares you and how to overcome those fears so that you have the courage to go after the life you truly desire and deserve!
- Let’s talk about fear in general. What scares me the most in life?
- What keeps me awake at night?
- Am I afraid of what other people think of me?
- What scares me the most about following my dreams in my career/new business venture?
- What scares me the most in love?
- How can I overcome my fears both professionally and personally?
- Does my fear of trying out weigh the regret I may feel for never trying? Read that question again when you start to feel fear creeping in! I guarantee you that you will regret not trying ten times more than any fear holding you back! The first step is the hardest but I know without a doubt once you take that leap of faith there will be no stopping you!
DAY 11: SELF SABOTAGE
I am so proud of you all for taking the time yesterday to figure out what truly scares you. It’s never easy to admit when you’ve been living in fear but I can tell you that you are truly as strong as they come for facing your fears and taking action to do better! Now that we’ve discovered what scares us it’s time to make sure that those old fears aren’t leading us down a path of self-destruction. Today’s journal exercise is to discover if we are currently allowing self-sabotage to creep into our life and if so how we can rectify the situation! We all subconsciously self sabotage. It’s a natural instinct and pattern inside of us that we have all been doing since childhood and will without a doubt take time to break! Self sabotage is our egos way of protecting us from getting hurt (physically, emotionally, mentally) so in order to change this pattern we must become very aware of how we self sabotage, why, and what we can do to change it!
- How do I sabotage myself? Examples can include procrastination, negative thinking, etc
- Do I fear failure or fear success? Really take a few moments to think about this and be honest with yourself. Some people fear success because deep down they feel unworthy of all the things they desire which brings us to the next question.
- Do I deserve success, love, and all the other things my heart desires? I hope your answer is a big YES but if not what can you do to change your answer? Why do I feel unworthy of success?
- What is my biggest self sabotaging behavior? Examples include listening to the inner voice saying “you can’t do this,” overeating when you’ve spend days exercising and eating healthy, consistently ruining healthy relationships for no good reason, etc.
- What are 2-3 actions that I can take to identify and change my self sabotaging behavior?
DAY 12: HAPPINESS
Happiness is a choice! It may sound cliche but it’s true! I can not tell you how much my life has changed for the better since I learned this lesson. Life will always have ups and downs, that’s a given! No matter how good or bad life is in the moment there is always something to be grateful for and always something to smile about. That’s not to say that we can’t feel sad or have hard days. Of course we can! We’re only human after all! However, in my experience the easiest way to feel happy is to realize it’s a choice and to figure out what exactly makes us joyful! Today’s journal exercise is to help you discover what makes you happy!
- When was the last time I was really happy?
- What are 2-3 things that consistently bring me joy?
- What are 2-3 things that bring me joy that I would like to do more?
- What people or activities rob me of my joy? Is there anyway to remove those activities from my life or do them less?
- What obstacles get in the way of my happiness?
- How much personal time do I need each week to function well and make me feel happy?
- Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? Think hard about this and how it applies to different situations in your life. Sometimes we are trying to prove a point to someone or something so bad that we are sacrificing our own happiness for the sake of being correct. For example, take my friend Denise. Her ex-husband left her and quickly divorced her after years of a marriage in which they were both unhappy. Denise now spends all her time and energy trying to make her ex-husband suffer for the way that he left her because she feels like he owes her more. Whether that is true or not Denise is spending all her time focusing on trying to be right and prove her point rather than letting go of the anger and moving on so she can truly be happy again!
DAY 13: ACCOMPLISHMENTS
I love that you all are continuing on this journey of self discovery with me! I honestly can’t even begin to tell you how proud of you I am! Sometimes when you are working so dang hard on becoming an even better version of yourself it’s important to take a step back and see how far you have already come! We don’t always give ourselves enough credit but we deserve it! We have made it through every single hard time in our lives! Not only have we made it through but we made it to the other side stronger, wiser, and happier! Today I want to hear about how awesome you are and all the things you have accomplished so far in life!
- What are three things (big or small) I accomplished last year that I am proud of?
- What is my biggest achievement of my life?
- What is something that I have overcome that I didn’t think I’d make it through?
DAY 14: INSPIRATION
If there is one thing I can guarantee you it is that you are 100% an inspiration to someone on this planet! Whether you know it or not someone sees you and admires you for who you are or what you have overcome! Even though we all inspire other women it’s important for us to also stay inspired to follow our dreams, believe in true love, nurture our creativity, or anything else that brings us joy! Today’s journal exercise is to discover what or who inspires you and how you can incorporate that inspiration into your daily life!
- Who or what do I find inspiring? What is it about them that I find inspiring?
- Where do I feel the most inspired?
- When was the last time I felt the most inspired, motivated, and excited? What was I doing differently during those times? How can I do more of that starting today?
DAY 15: ENERGY DRAINERS
We all know someone or something that just drains our precious energy! Everything in this universe is energy which means someone or something is capable of turning our positive energy negative. We have all been in that situation where we are in a great mood and someone having a bad day walks through the door and instantly puts us in a bad mood too! That’s because energy can be transferred which makes it even more important that we learn how to protect our energy. Today’s journal exercise is all about protecting ourselves from bad energy!
- What or who drains my energy?
- How can I remove this negativity from my life or protect myself from this negative energy?
- Why is protecting my energy so important?
- What happens or how am I affected when energy drainers seep into my life?
DAY 16: FLAWS
Flaws are inevitable! We all have them but there is a healthy and an unhealthy way of looking at them. We can either allow our flaws to consume us where they can greatly damage our self esteem and self worth or we can use them to help us grow. The key to getting past our flaws is to either accept them or work on changing them! So how do we do that? First, we must identify if it’s something that we can work on changing or not! For example, let’s say you consider one of your physical flaws to be that you have large pores. Can you change this? No! Sure you can try different skincare products to minimize their appearance but at the end of the day they are still going to be there. Since we can’t change this “flaw” we must learn to accept it, focus on what we love about ourself, and realize that it doesn’t define who we are as a person! Now let’s say another one of your flaws is that you are always late! Can this be changed? Of course! You can work on better time management, waking up earlier, and not over scheduling! The point is if you can’t change something there is no use in spending energy stressing over it and if you can change something then work on improving it, realize it takes time to change, and give yourself grace. Sometimes by recognizing our flaws and our weaknesses we can have a better understanding of something small that may be holding us back to a higher level of success so today’s journal exercise is to figure out what are our flaws!
- What are some of my flaws? Do I believe that they are unchangeable?
- How do I feel about accepting my negative qualities?
- Do I feel unworthy or inferior because I have them?
- Am I able to accept my whole self, flaws and all?
DAY 17: GUILT
Guilt can come in so many forms! Sometimes we do something wrong that caused someone else harm. Sometimes we have guilt for maybe not speaking up when should have. Sometimes we have guilt for something bigger than us like surviving a tragedy when someone else didn’t. Sometimes we just have guilt for not being able to be everything to everyone! Guilt can help us grow and mature but guilt can also hold us back if we aren’t able to let it go. Remember taking responsibility for a time when you were in the wrong is great, admirable even but torturing yourself over it for the rest of your life is unnecessary. Today’s journal exercise is to identify what type of guilt we are holding onto in our lives and how to let it go!
- Do I owe an apology to anyone? If so, write down why, what you would say to them, and how you would improve or do better next time?
- If not, what do I feel most guilty about in my life right now?
- If I could go back in time would I do anything different?
- Would I be better off continuing to hold onto my guilt or letting go?
- What is preventing me from letting go of my guilt?
- What would I tell my best friend to do if they were in my place?
- What can I do now to forgive myself and allow myself to feel better?
DAY 18: MORE OR LESS
I need a little more sunshine and margaritas in my life and a little less stress! Balance is crucial in staying sane and productive in our daily life. We want to find the perfect balance between work and play so that we can pay our bills but also enjoy life. We want to find the perfect balance between eating right and enjoying the cake so we can live a healthy lifestyle but also enjoy the smaller things in life! Every now and then it’s best to re-evaluate what we need a little more of in our life and what we need a little less of in our life! The beauty is there is no wrong answer. Sometimes we want to make great big changes and sometimes it’s as simple as taking five minutes a day to yourself!
- What are 2-3 things I’d like to do more of or add to my life?
- What are 2-3 things I’d like to do less of or add to my life?
- How can I incorporate these changes starting today?
DAY 19: MOTIVATION
I hope by now you are starting to feel motivated and already believe that you have everything within you to achieve anything you set your mind to! But in case you need a little more motivation today’s journal exercise is all about identifying what motivates us and how to reignite that motivation and passion! In the exercise below answer the questions based on the three goals you established on Day 8!
- What motivates me? What gets me excited about life?
- What are my reasons for wanting to achieve my goal?
- What stops or reduces my motivation?
- What habits can I create and add to my life to increase my motivation?
- If I fail to achieve my goal, what will be the consequences?
- If I succeed in achieving my goal how will my life change for the better?
- In what ways can I reward myself for reaching small goals to keep me motivated and moving forward?
DAY 20: AUTHENTICITY
Authenticity is one of my favorite topics to talk about! Just to be clear authenticity is not “keeping it real” or “blurting out your opinions” with no self control. Being authentic is staying true to your values, personality, and principles no matter who you are with or what type of situation you are in. Being authentically you can be so scary but so freeing at the same time! We all have insecurities that subconsciously keep us from being our true selves but once we learn to let go of those insecurities that’s where life really begins! Today’s journal exercise is to discover if you are living a life true to your authentic self!
- Am I being completely authentic in my life?
- If not, what is holding me back from being more authentic?
- In what areas of my life am I trading authenticity for safety? Example: Am I staying in an unfulfilling relationship because it’s easier than being alone?
DAY 21: LETTER TO ME
You made it to the last day! I’m so proud of y’all for sticking to it and making time to really get to know yourself on a deeper level and do the work to continue to improve yourself. We are all a work in progress and will continue to be until our last day on this sweet earth. For our last day of journaling I want us to all look back at how much we’ve accomplished and how strong we really are! Today I want you to write a letter to your younger self and tell yourself anything you wish you knew back then. I think as you write you will come to realize that everything always turns out just fine and that maybe you worried a little too much about the small stuff! Remember, yourself 20 years from now will probably say the same thing to present you! So take it easy and don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing great!
- What advice would I give my younger self?
- What accomplishments have I achieved that I would want to share with my younger self? What am I most proud of?
- What have I overcome?
Again I can’t tell you how freaking proud I am of you for taking the time to get to know yourself on a deeper level! Sometimes we avoid truly getting to know ourselves because it can bring up past pains and traumas! It’s hard and it’s scary but to truly move forward we must always make peace with the past! I know I personally avoided it for years! I promise you though that the more you focus on educating yourself on who you are at your core, working on becoming the best version of yourself, and living a life led by positivity your frequency will change and your life will only get better! Thank you so much for hanging with me these past few weeks. If you are looking for more I added some bonus questions to continue to get to know yourself and some daily mantras. Pick one or two mantras a day that you connect with and repeat them to yourself for a few minutes first thing in the morning to start your day off right!
BONUS: FUN QUESTIONS TO GET TO KNOW MYSELF BETTER!
Here’s a few bonus questions just because! Have fun with these y’all!
- What compliment do I like to hear the most?
- What’s one secret I wouldn’t tell anybody and why?
- If I could have any superpower what would it be and why?
- If I could have any other career besides my own what would I do?
- What’s my all time favorite memory?
- What has been my most embarrassing moment?
- If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life what would it be?
- When was the last time I had a really good laugh?
- If I had three wishes what would they be?
- Do I believe in aliens?
- I am capable. I am strong. I believe in myself.
- I give thanks to every cell in my amazing body.
- I radiate confidence and positivity.
- I am a magnet for money and success.
- I have the power to accomplish everything I need to do today.
- I am superior to negative thoughts and actions.
- I choose to be happy and love myself today.
- I am brave. I am beautiful. I am worthy.
- I am beautiful inside and out.
- I accept myself just the way I am.
- I have the power to create change.
- I deserve the best and I accept the best.
- Money is attracted to me and finds its way into my life quickly and easily.
- I’m so grateful that the universe always provides for me.
- I deserve to be happier than I have ever been in my life.
- My past holds no power over me.
- I ask, I believe, I receive.
- I am deserving of love.
- I have everything inside me to achieve all my dreams. I will not fail.
- I am manifesting love, wealth, and a lifetime of happiness.
Wishing you all a year full of love, light, and inner peace!